Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Introvert/Extrovert

I recently read a book on introversion and it was pretty interesting, especially as I’ve always considered myself an introvert. I have all the classic signs, according to the book: spending lots of time alone voluntarily, a phone call phobia, a few deep but meaningful friendships, an avoidance of the spotlight. I’ve had those characteristics since childhood, so they’re not something that popped up during a life transition.

I was discussing long-distance commutes with my future roommate last night, specifically commutes where one works in a city in one state for the week and then returns to home in another state for the weekend. I was saying that I couldn’t do it, that work wouldn’t be enough to sustain me during those five days because I’d want to do something else and I’d miss interacting with my family and friends during those days. Future roommate, who asserted that such a situation wouldn’t be a problem for her, then looked at me and said, “So maybe you aren’t as introverted as you think, if you need to be around people like that.” This knocked me for a loop. Then we talked about solitary confinement, which is probably the ultimate test of an introvert/extrovert personality, and future roommate said she thought it’d be great. I was not so enthused.

So all of today I felt like a personality hypocrite. If I am an extrovert, which my book defined based on where one gets one’s energy from, whether it is from outside sources (extrovert) or inner ones (introvert), then I have been so totally dense as to never notice it or I’ve been lying to myself. And right as I was coming to terms with being an introvert. So much for that.

It does help explain why I’d get so horribly lonely and depressed during summers away from college, and last fall/winter. A truly introverted person would have been totally fine, and I fell apart.

This is really not cool. I was looking forward to a deep, meaningful relationship with my introversion, and now the honeymoon is over.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Snugglebunny, I think we're personality twins.